What’s goin’ on?

Things we’ve been reading:

First, a friend of mine shared this.

I lightly broke it down (do read it) with this response:

1. Referring to yourself and/or group of friends as “bro” seriously might as well be a sign you’re a douchcanoe.
2. “Midnight or after, if you have been talking for awhile and they’ve had a couple drinks, ask if they want to dance. If you see an untalked to group or a solo girl, go up to her and ask if she wants anything to drink. If she says yes, get her a drink and then ask if she wants to dance. If she says no, ask her to dance. DANCING IS FUN!!!!! Always try to dance. If she does not want to dance and is with friends, say “aw thats no fun” (or something like that) and then ask one of her friends.”
I thought the stereotype was that guys don’t like to dance, which made the all caps insistence DANCING IS FUN massively humorous. But is DANCING FUN with creepy guys who call each other “bro?”
He really does need to learn about the body though. There’s a lot in between “just under the boob” and “fingering her.”  Just sayin’.
3. “If she starts putting her hair over her ear, THAT MEANS SHE WANTS A KISS.”
I had no idea this was part of the mating ritual of humans. I’m sure my husband is stewing “That feminist bitch I married never puts her hair over my ear, dammit.”
WTF is he talking about? Well, he sure is fond OF ALL CAPS.
4. ” 6. Ejaculate (should also be self explanatory) ”
No, I’m sorry, I don’t follow, care to explain? Preferably in ALL CAPS, AMIRITE BROS? How many women do you think this “bro” *shudder* has so cleverly used this MASSIVELY AWESOME ADVICE ON, [name of friend]? Success rates count.

Also, why are people so stupid to think emails won’t be leaked, etc? Geez.

In other news:

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Southern Style: Tar Heel Turnaround

Friends, it has been a while since our last stop on the Southern Express.  And, honey-chile, this one will be a real treat.  One you surely don’t want to miss.  So, go on, grab your sweet tea, immerse yourself in insect repellant, and…

NC2

North Carolina.  Majestic mountains.  Beautiful beaches.

One of the more progressive southern states prior to the..

Tar Heel Turnaround?

The North Carolina that we are seeing today is at odds with the trajectory the state has been on in recent years.  The southern states may seem as though they are vehemently opposed to ideals like change and progress.  In my view, North Carolina has always been different.

A little history….

Even during our nation’s ugliest time, the Civil War, this state was a bit progressive.  “The second to last (technically the last) state to secede from the Union” did so reluctantly in 1861, and wasn’t as sold on slavery as the rest of the south.  They – along with Virginia, Tennessee, and Arkansas – initially chose to remain with the Union, after Lincoln was elected.  Confederate forces in South Carolina (Boy-oh-boy, our stop there will be fun!) fired on the Union, forcing the hold-out states to fight for the federal government or their neighbors.

The above facts, in no way, justify the actions taken statewide during Reconstruction.  The state did, however, make great strides once it became clear that they couldn’t put skeletons back in the closet.

The eat-ins and sit-ins led to incremental integration.  Education became a priority, and was heavily invested in.  Tobacco was replaced with textiles, then technology.

There was…progress.

North Carolina attempted to rise above the title of “confederate sympathizer”.  Instead, it focused on its memories of the Wright brothers and Kitty Hawk.  Those majestic mountains and beautiful beaches were boons for tourism.  I, myself, thoroughly enjoy time spent at Atlantic Beach each year.

Many have grooved to Thelonious Monk, Pink Floyd, and Roberta Flack. We were touched that James Taylor had Carolina in his mind.  The Andy Griffith show was mandatory viewing in many households.  And everybody wished they could jump like Mike!

North Carolina gave us Duke University, a pioneer in the medical field.  It gave us Shaw University, the first HBC,  as well as Salem College, the first school for young women.  The state’s Research Triangle brought in major industries – such as IBM, GlaxoKlineSmith, and LabCorp – providing jobs and careers for residents.

moral monday

 What a difference a (voting) day makes!

This is not progressive.

North Carolina’s Republicans took simultaneous control of the legislature and governor’s mansion in January for the first time in more than a century. The current session has been marked by sweeping conservative measures in what has long been counted as among the South’s most progressive states.

Arrests?  Of nearly 675 people since these peaceful protests began?  Because they do not approve of your policies, and are exercising their right to protest, they are “morons” who deserve to be arrested?  To further marginalize them, they are called “outsiders”.  Never mind the fact that arrest records show that nearly all are from within the state and the fact that slashing unemployment benefits for over 100,000 residents and decreasing benefits for the rest might be seen as irresponsible.

We can’t call this progressive either.

As legislators enter the final phase of closed-door state budget negotiations, young children could wind up being the biggest losers.

Children with special needs will lose much-needed services, like speech and developmental therapy.  Ten thousand Pre-K slots will be lost over a two-year period.  Prenatal care will be unaffordable for many.  The Child Fatality Task Force will be eliminated, even though child death rate has dropped 46%.  Healthier, more well-adjusted children is a smart investment that residents support.

Need more?

Repealing the Racial Injustice Act?  Not progress.  Because racial discrimination has never been the best option for a state, or the nation.

Quietly imposing “the biggest overhaul of the state’s tax system in more than a decade.”  … not progressive.  Decisions that impact a state should be discussed, no, especially when you’re favoring one segment of the population at the expense of another.  FTA:  Supported by Gov. Pat McCrory, the bill adds a sales tax to numerous exempt services, such as car repairs and appliance installations, to pay for moderate cuts in personal and corporate income taxes. 

The necessity for stealth doesn’t usually indicate progress.  I know we women can be freedom riders, but seriously?  One of the most basic human rights is full and complete dominion over one’s body.  Why not just ban women and be done with it?

Does anyone, especially college students, find this progressive?  I think not.  Because didn’t we already determine this was not the way forward?

In retrospect, perhaps we ALL should have been worried when this hit the news.  Because Church of North Carolina meet the Constitution, already!

So, yeah, I would say the Tar Heels got turned around.  Wouldn’t you?

What to do..what to do..

mm protest

THIS!!!

Protest.  And protest some more.  Transform “Moral Mondays” into “We, the people Week”.. “Month of Marches”.. straight to the voting booth!

Because this is not about conservative and liberal.  It is about right and wrong.

Once you were a progressive state.  You can be again.

Wanderlust & Nostalgia

The sound of steady rain from tropical storm Andrea is the current soundtrack of my life, and I feel more mellow today. I thought of writing about politics, but I want to remember how beautiful this country is right now.

I find myself nostalgic and full of wanderlust. Being stationed in Florida, my heart yearns to go west.

But I want to go. Fuel prices and responsibility be damned, I want to feel the wind in my hair and the Pacific at my feet once again.

Alas, I am stuck here. So I close my eyes and remember that time when I was able to traverse the country fairly freely.

I hiked the Olympic Mountains of Washington State, a lush, gorgeous rainforest. As we hiked up to the snow-covered peaks, crossing rapid rivers of snow-melt and rain, we watched our step. The slugs out there are huge and plentiful.

I stared off at the Grand Tetons and at Jackson Lake, where I found a boat with my name and middle initial docked—just as it’s been since I first traveled there in 1982.

I’ve spent meaningful time in 47 states (Sorry to have missed you, North Dakota, Hawaii, and Alaska).  I’m not talking about changing planes in Los Angeles. I lived and breathed in these places. I’m talking about driving on back roads, getting out and exploring the Cathedral of the Plains, hearing (and feeling) the hum and vibrations of the turbines at the Hoover Dam, chasing rainbows in Colorado, discovering Sioux City, South Dakota has a surprising amount of street art, and staring out at a dry but green plain in Utah, realizing it was the last place the Donner party gathered before it became infamous.

(That last one—that’s actually a rest area with small, unassuming historic sign to inform you of the significance of the place. Suddenly, the quiet green span of land looked intimidating.)

I just saw Django Unchained, and my attention was drawn to the geography. “That’s not Tennessee or Texas!” I said to the screen. “That’s Wyoming!”

I waited until the end of the credits—it was Wyoming. What a dumb thing to do, pretend that the mountains of Wyoming are in the South.

(If you’ve seen them, then yes, you know this is a dumb and distracting thing.)

Do yourself the favor and explore this country as much as possible. Go east, go south. Head northwest. Go.

You don’t have to go far from home or spend lots of money. If you travel a mere 20 miles from your home, you’ll find something of beauty or historic importance you didn’t know was there.

Evergreen Up Late: Time Has Come Today

‘evenin’, all-

Lacking any kind of coherent theme or statement tonight beyond desperate meandering between distractions from what I should be doing, I just couldn’t resist the urge to headline the title of tonight’s song selection, the wonderfully over-the-top garage psychedelia of the Chambers Brothers. Cue it up, crank it up, and check out this sh*t:

Riffing off a theme from last night, again, the satire goes where Presidents fear to tread.

More proof that you should always…just stay the hell out of Florida.

If this is okay, why not just demand DNA samples and be done with it?

As long as you avoid hospitals and nuclear plants, then..what?

Well, at least we can efficiently exterminate each other whilst we wait.

Because you just can’t keep a good fascist Big Brother idea down.

And finally, because it well and truly has…

The best of all possible tomorrows to you all-

Evergreen Up Late: Games People Play

We don’t normally do this but tonight there are a few sports stories I’d like to take a whack at…

Oh look. Tiger seems to have found true love. Again. Fair warning though Eldrick, I bet she can swing a 9 iron harder than your ex.

Want to win your bracket contest in the NCAA Basketball Tournament? Do NOT follow this advice.

NFL Free Agency opened last week and while I haven’t seen a single story about collusion between the owners, I suspect it is what’s happening. Otherwise these guys suck.

If you’re fielding a foul ball, give it to a fan. If you’re fielding a fair ball, don’t.

Perhaps you find yourself wondering who that PGA player reminds you of?

Evergreen Up Late: I see red

Rising and falling
red repels,
yet keeps calling.

RED rising – North Korean belligerence has been increasing, raising temperatures as surely as global warming.

RED falling – Will China finally bring the hammer down on their neighbor?  Stranger things have happened.

On The Fringe calling – Meanwhile North Korea maintains that it has proof of the existence of Unicorns … or maybe it was Man Bear Pig?

RED fading – The reign of Pope Benedict XVI has ended a little bit differently than most. My, how those red shoes have had to dance. Worthy of a BONUS link!

RED in decline – GOP reduced to changing election rules to have a chance to win the next Federal election.

RED on repeat – Rand Paul Ryan Rand Paul Ryan. Well, ONE of those guys is on a new budget trick trip.

RED in retreat – A fake bankruptcy story fooled several conserv-a-blogs and mainstream media outlets – AGAIN.

‘REDiculous’ – Earlier, a bogus blog had fooled the mainstream outlets, enabling the Alaskan Half-Gov. to Tweet-Rinse-Repeat.

From the serious to the silly to the sublime.
Through it all stay optimistic, maintain your Grace under Pressure, and don’t let your rose-colored glasses become red lenses.

May you always be in tune with The Music of the Spheres.

Evergreen Up Late: Remote Control

So, I’m going to be on TV tonight, probably even as you read this, and thus unable to do my usual frantic last-second scramble to cut something together that has to be re-edited at least twice after it’s been published. Luckily for me, it turns out that there’s this very cool bloggy thing called “scheduler” that I am going to attempt to employ. Based on current data, odds of success are no more than 50-50, which means there’s an excellent chance that I’ll be on camera trying to thoughtfully answer a question from the host while my phone buzzes angrily in my pocket, and if it’s loud enough for the mic to pick up, then that’s for the win. The fact that at least this time the complaint from Management isn’t about obscenity or otherwise sullying the reputation of this fine Institute will be of at least some solace as I stumble over my words and slap at my thigh in the attempt to silence the damn thing, causing the host to jump backwards in surprise and yell “Fuck!” into a live mic. If it’s like last time, rather than shut the damn thing off, I’ll manage rather to switch the speaker to ON. Merriment will ensue….I can see it all now. And no, I’m not going to reveal either the name of the show, the network, nor the market, nor the time. I’ll be appearing under yet another of my seemingly-endless series of pseudonyms, but, just like the way the re-use of a one-time pad by a spy makes the pad vulnerable to cryptography, to allow this name to be cross-referenced with that name would ruin the whole game. I’d be EXPOSED. Naked before a ruthless, judgmental world, like the little stuffed doll at the end of The Wall. And who needs that? There’d be recriminations, hurt feelings…and possibly even a hearing or two. And questions. People would demand answers.
And I’m not going through that again, I tell you. So, as long as Up Late is on remote control tonight, let’s also look at:

Black helicopters-not just for nuts anymore.

Because flying death robots are clearly the best way to win hearts and…oh never mind.

Come on, try it yourself. Full-motion video and audio available for only a small upcharge.

Do you suppose people grasp that the last human fighter pilot may have already been born?

And really, how could this possibly go wrong?

At least someone is saying something.

And so, I ask only that you please stay In the Light.

The best of all possible tomorrows to you all-